What Happened to Just Dressing for the Occasion?

I am yet to meet someone who is genuinely excited about trying to find an outfit that fits a wedding-imposed dress code.

That's not to say there aren't any. I am sure there are people who love the challenge of a "Vintage Coastal Cocktail. No florals. Or pastels." instruction on a wedding invitation.

But most people I have spoken to find dress codes difficult. Difficult to interpret; difficult to find something they feel comfortable in; difficult to afford when the wedding also requires a gift, travel, multiple outfits, babysitting and/or missing work.

That's not just my opinion. It's my experience.

Most people walk into my shop in varying states of stress over what they are going to wear to a wedding with a specific dress code. I see it every day.

And I personally don't really understand the fascination with setting one.

Of course, a dress code can provide some clarity about the type of event you're envisioning. A family garden party is very different to a city wine bar or a formal dinner. But most adults are perfectly capable of reading the context of an event and choosing something appropriate for the venue, setting, season and time of day.

You can set the tone and feel of your wedding through the invitation you send, your colour palette and graphic design, the time of day, the season and the location. All of those things give people plenty of clues about what sort of event they're coming to.

So why do we need to dictate what they wear?

If you want people to thoroughly enjoy your wedding, allowing them to choose something they feel comfortable and confident in has got to be a pretty good place to start.

And ultimately, does it matter what they wear? Surely their presence is the important part.

Does it matter if someone is super dressy while someone else is a little more casual? Does it matter if two people turn up in the same outfit? Does it really even matter if someone else wears white?

The ever-growing list of rules that seem to accompany weddings these days has very little to do with what actually makes a wedding special. They don't make the marriage stronger. They don't make your guests happier. And they certainly don't make the day more meaningful.

People want to get dressed up for the occasion. We are, very much, here for that.

People want to be able to afford something lovely that reflects their personality, suits their body shape and makes them feel good. Also completely here for that.

People want to be at your wedding.

And as far as I'm concerned, they absolutely do not need to be told what to wear. I appreciate it might be something about the photographic effect of the whole group but I suspect you might get a far more interesting, personal and amazing photographic portrayal of the people you actually care about if you let them make that choice for themselves.

Let them show up as themselves, dressed for the occasion in a way that feels right to them.

That's my opinion. And I will be sticking with it.